Sunday, May 21, 2017

RPDR s9e09 • Your Pilot's On Fire • 19 May 2017

Last time on RuPaul's Drag Race the eight
remaining queens roasted Michelle Visage.

Some of them were even funny.   SOME of them.

Peppermint won the main challenge.

Sasha Velour placed 2nd,

Shea Coulee 3rd.

Middle safe were Nina Bo'nina Brown and Valentina.

(Valentina had won the mini challenge.)

Trinity Taylor placed sixth out of eight.

Bottom two were Alexis Michelle

and Farrah Moan.

After a fairly lackluster lip synch, Farrah was eliminated.

At this point, only Shea Coulee and Valentina
have never been in the bottom 3.
Will that change this week?

"We can't look!"

When the ladies go back to the work room, Alexis shares she ‘scarcely’ knows what just happened.    She cannot process anything except extreme adulation, huh?

Peppermint tries to draw Nina out of her shell.  Nina has been paranoid for weeks, but is there truth to any of it anyway?  I swear, the more she thinks the world is against her, the more the world will oblige in her fantasy.

“It’s just not true!”

Next day in the work room Ru offers the next task:  Create a promo for a sitcom pilot.

They choose their own teams:

Sasha Velour & Shea Couleé

Nina Bo’nina Brown & Valentina

Alexis, Peppermint & Trinity

Nina has to complain about Peppermint walking by her.   There’s more of that paranoia!

You know what they say about paranoia.

Sasha & Shea have an idea right out of the box.

Trinity has an idea for her team.

Alexis moves the group from one part of the work room to another.  Remember this, there is a pay off later.

Nina & Valentina … well, they aren’t coming up with anything.  Valentina politely interviews that this is not worthy of his time.  What?

While putting on their makeup, Shea moves over from next to Nina to be next to Sasha.   Not sure why Nina thinks Shea is coming for her.  

Carson & Michelle are directing the promo spots.      

Peppermint and especially Trinity take direction well.   Alexis isn’t quite on the same page.   I can’t say she does poorly, but she stands out as the worst of the three.

The directors have to remind both Sasha & Shea to go over the top with their lines.  Later they are cracking up over their work.  

Nina and Valentina right from the start do not have any kind of a script going!   They have bullet points for a thought out script.  Wait just a minute, their story is THEM, in jail, getting onto Ru’s show, and falling in love.   (The other two groups, they are playing characters, not themselves.)

Carson wants a Ritalen smoothie to watch Nina & Tina, since they don’t know what they hell they are doing.   But, suddenly, he and Michelle are cracking up.   Maybe Valentina’s idea of just winging it paid off?  Improvisation for the win!

Trinity shares on elimination day that she is nervous about doing a Club Kid look.   Sounds like she is willing to jump into the deep end with it, though.

Shea is hot gluing things to her face, but she is burning herself.   Yeeouch!

Ru looks nice on the runway, no?

But what is with Michelle’s highlight?

“Ooooooohhh, that ain’t right!”

Joining Ru & Michelle are Carson, Lisa Robertson and Noah Galvin.

Sasha Velour

Shea Couleé

Nina Bo’nina Brown


Trinity Taylor


Alexis Michelle

Teets & Asky

“Bone Killer”

Looks like they did exactly what Ru asked of them.  They seemed to have a lot of fun with it, too.

Nina & Tina

Ya know, the promo isn’t bad.  It’s much better than they deserve, since they were not prepared (they didn’t have any lines to memorize.)  Still, the premise is weak, or too much like their own lives.

Mary, Mother Of Gay
Hmmm.   Cucumbers, bananas, sure … but baguettes?   I guess I could go for a hoagie.   

Now all I can hear is Bonnie Tyler telling me she needs a gyro.

Sasha Velour & Shea Couleé are the winners right out of the box.  They head out back and talk about Nina behind her back on Untucked.   (No, not bad, don't you worry, NBB.)

Michelle praises Nina’s head work, but Carson thinks the torso was an after thought.

Michelle thinks they were not prepared, they should have had a script.

Noah reminds them that even improv’d shows like Curb Your Enthusiasm have a structure.  He thinks it was a better movie than a TV serious.

Michelle sees more fashion than club kid with Valentina’s look.   Lisa loved it, at least.

I will say this, at least it looks better than CLF Miss CuCu’s matador outfit that she tripped on weeks ago.

Lisa calls Trinity’s runway look the best.  Michelle praises the look and how she did in the challenge.  Carson calls her work “gold.”

The judges admire Peppermint’s on brand runway look.   Michelle thinks she did a great job in the promo.

Why is Alexis copying Annie Lennox in early 1984?   I guess it doesn't look too much like Sasha's "Madonna Erotica" mask from 1982, but, still, why do that?  Why didn’t she have any hint of boobs?   Maybe she doesn't need upper frontals for "Club Kids?"    

But, why didn’t address the transition from white face to natural torso?   


Her acting work didn’t stand up to the other two.   Even if she looks like "Serial Mom" Kathleen Turner.   Alexis defends herself, that she was busy with running everything. 

CARSON:  Perhaps you were so busy producing and running the show, you couldn't attend to your own work?

PEPPERMINT:  That's right, she even made my runway outfit.

TRINITY:  Mine, too!   We'd be lost without her.

VALENTINA:  She was going to write our dialogue but she ran out of time.

THORGY THOR:   It was because she was writing my 30 pages of monoluge.  She saved my butt!   Thank GOD for her!

Yeah, Peppermint and Trinity shut Alexis down, rightly so.   They each did one third on all aspects.   Except for completing a runway look.  Alexis, if you’re going to through someone under the bus, make sure there is a bus.

“On focusing on administration” … girl, you put the story board on a table.  THAT IS IT.

Trinity and Peppermint are safe.

Alexis is 3rd worst, and safe.

Bottom two are Nina and Valentina.

As they start lip synching to Ariana Grande’s “Greedy,” it becomes apparent that Valentina is refusing to remove her veil.   No one can see her lip synch.   

Only after Noah and Michelle say something, does Ru stop the song, going into the first chorus.

“Valentina, this is a lip synch for your life.
We need to see your lips.
Take that thing off of your mouth.”

“I’d like to keep it on please.”

“It’s a lip synch.  What part of that do you not understand.”



She eventually removes it and Ms. Grande’s song starts playing again.  A-ha!   Valentina doesn’t know the words at ALL.   

“I cannot believe she didn’t give it her all!”

Well, first, Charlie, *you* didn’t give it your all, but, I give you this:   You knew the words.  You really did.

Nina delivers a pretty good lip synch, and, compared to the F minus work, well, that’s fantastic.   

Nina hears “Chanté, you stay” while Valentina hears “I thought you had the stuff to go all the way.  Now, get the hell away from my face!”
I guess Reddit got it right, with the leak a week ago that Valentina was going.   Even with just that much information, this was quite an exciting episode.  Valentina might have won the whole thing if she had bothered to learn the lyrics.   

I still feel bad for her.  She’s a beautiful young drag queen, and I am sure we are going to see more from her.   She ought to be on All Stars 3, at the very least.

Ready for the top 6 next week?   They are going to make over the crew, just like on Project Runway season 12.   Wait, they had six contestants left at that point, too.   LOL

“Don’t you even look at me.”


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