Sunday, April 16, 2017

RPDR s9e04 • Good Morning, Bitches • 14 April 2017



What's happened so far on season 9?

Episode 1——Nina Bo'nina Brown won the pageant challenge.
RuPaul didn't eliminate anyone.  Hell,
she never even bother to get into drag.

"She didn't even don her yellow hat!"

Episode 2——Valentina won the cheerleading & white runway challenge.

Jaymes Mansfield was eliminated.
The nation is still mourning.

Episode 3——Trinity Taylor won the princess & sidekick challenge.

Kimora Blac was eliminated.

"And, the nation is mourning, say it, say it!"

 
Over on Untucked last time, Aja laid in on Valentina
for doing better than her on the challenges.
Because that is why Valentina is on the show,
to help Aja win.  Not to do well on her own.  XD

Coming into the work room after Kimora’s elimination, both Aja and Alexis have to tell Valnetina that she was incorrectly in the top 3.   Geez, it never stops, huh?

Funny, if the judges make a mistake, why take it out on the contestant?  Go school Ru if Ru made a mistake, Aja & Alexis.   Or, in other words, you need to go to the bathroom, because excrement is coming out of your mouth.   I am not pro-Valentina, but I am against harassing other queens for merely competing well.

“But, I’m amazing!, and, you're being a bully to ME, the AMAZING Aja!"

Next day ...  I *knew* that my wardrobe was missing something!

More importantly, we ain’t got no pit crew of ANY size.  =o(

"Remember when they used to have mini challenges?"

I still have it bad for the guy with the lavender trunks.

 
I guess I should be glad they aren’t moving feathers and eggs across the room like in season 4.

The main challenge is to host a morning talk show, like Good Morning America, or the Today Show.

 
Or, like challenges from season one,

season 3,

 
and season 6.

Trinity won the last main challenge, so she is a team leader.   Aja edged out poor Kimora Blac, so she is the other team leader.

Their shows are broadcast “live,” meaning, there are no second takes.

 
Eureka thinks “Not On Today” implies ghetto.

 
They don’t remember season five, which aired in 2013, do they?

One of Alyssa Edwards MANY catch phrases was “Not On Tonight.”

It seems a bit weird with Trinity making each queen raise her hand before speaking.   They don’t seem to be all completely simpatico.   Or maybe she's just trying to keep Eureka from taking over.

Charlie Hides seems to be giving so much ‘help’ to Miss CuCu that she is micromanaging.  Cynthia Lee Fontaine acknowledges in interview that part of her charm is in garbling English.  She is right.

First up is Team Aja.  I don't think the teams see the other teams do their work.

Head anchors Alexis & Farrah do quite well.
   
Valentina & Aja struggle a bit.  The trouble seems to be more with Aja.  

Shea Couleé & Sasha Velour are hilarious, plugging Ru’s chocolate, and referring to something else.

 
They successfully wrap up with the Naya Rivera segment.   She gets to plug her book, and nothing seems uneven.

Producer Ross Mathews is pleased with Team Aja.

My favorite bit:

SASHA: So, you take a RuPaul’s (sic) Chocolate Bar ..
SHEA:  Get out of town!
SASHA: … and you hide it in a stalk of broccoli.
SHEA:  You’re just a magician!

As for Team Trinity ...

Trinity & Peppermint seem to be too mean to each other for the challenge, plus they fumble their words. 
  
Charlie Hides & Cynthia Lee Fontaine are quite unnerving.  Miss CuCu CLF is funny enough to save her … CuCu, but Charlie is derailing herself by being more concerned with the words on her cards, than the person standing next to her, or the subject matter.  In other words, the cards are holding her back.  

 
Nina Bo’nina Brown and Eureka do well with their segment.  Both are at ease, warm and funny.   

Eureka eating the props is cracking me up.

After interviewing Naya Rivera, they fail to end the show.

There is ‘dead air’ without a goodbye, or a tag of any sort.

While the queens all get ready for the runway, Valentina calls Aja out for talking smack about her all the time.  Valentina is quite adept at turning the situation around.  

Then we get an edit of Charlie losing peers to AIDS.  

Eureka makes a joke about anorexics.  Sasha reveals that she has been anorexic (or is it that someone once called her anorexic?  I can’t tell.)   Sasha tries to stop Eureka, but Eureka ain’t havin’ any.  She wants to say whatever the hell she wants to say, and to hell with how anyone else ever might feel about it.  Girl, you have the beauty and the talent to win.  

However, the being likable thing comes & goes too much for my tastes.

Joining Ru on the runway are Michelle and Ross, plus Naya Rivera (Glee) and Jeffrey Bowyer-Chapman (Noah’s Arc.)

The runway theme (don’t blink or you’ll miss it!) is naughty nighties.

And, what is with the ascot, JB-C?

“I thought it looked nice.”

Alright, if ONJ is allowed, I guess JB-C and HC as FJ can wear 'em, too.

Farrah Moan

Alexis Michelle

Aja

Valentina
 

Shea Couleé 
 

Sasha Velour 

Trinity Taylor
 

Peppermint
 

Charlie Hides
 

Cynthia Lee Fontaine
 

Eureka O'Hara
 

Nina Bo’nina Brown
 


Right out of the box, Ru congratulates Shea & Sasha for winning the challenge.   They each get $1,000 and “a year’s worth” of burgers from Hamburger Mary’s.  Considering Ru eats one Tic-Tac a year, I’m dubious as to how many they might actually be able to have.

The members of Team Good Morning Bitches are all safe.

The members of Not On Today are all up for elimination.

Trinity was a poor leader, and messed up with the ending.   Peppermint fumbled, and also messed up with the ending.  Peppermint seems to have done the worst on the runway.

Trust me.

Charlie didn’t mesh with CLF too well.  CLF saved herself with her great bubbly personality.

Eureka is a success, and Nina Bo’nina Brown is, too, except that she is crying and the judges think she won’t last too long.  Uh-oh!

Ru asks them who should go home.  Three people get two votes each:  Charlie Hides, Peppermint and Trinity.

CLF is safe.

Trinity is bottom 2.

Eureka & Nina Bo’nina Brown are both safe.

Peppermint did poorly, but is safe.

Charlie Hides is bottom two.

And then a first happened during the lip synch.  Only one of the two bothered to move their feet.

Trinity did jumps, and offered hairography.  Charlie did mouth the words to the Britney Spears song, but she barely moved her arms, and NEVER moved her legs.

One of the queens in the back (I think it was Shea Couleé?) screamed for Charlie to get it together.

I am so disappointed in Charlie for not bothering to give it her all during the lip synch.  She gave away her spot in the shot.  She BEGGED to go home.

Can you imagine the Olympics?  Carl Lewis not leaving the blocks?  Mary Lou Retton just looking at the balance beam with a vacant stare?    Mark Spitz being afraid of the water?

Shame on you Charlie.  You are such a talented person.  You missed an opportunity to show what you can do.   May none of us go through life missing opportunities to do good, or at least to do SOMETHING.

Happy Easter everybody!

Tune in next week for Todrick Hall and Meghan Trainor.  The queens will be in a reality star-based musical!  Meghan will be severely underdressed!

“The s9 musical won’t be any good.”

Now why can't *this* guy come back, underdressed?

ILYM

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