Wednesday, March 20, 2013

RPDR s5e8 • Scent of a Drag Queen • 18 March 2013

Last week on RuPaul's Drag Race the contestants roasted Ru, along with the regular and guest judges, and each other. 

Coco Montrese won the challenge posing as an old acquaintance from da 'hood, and primarily roasting Ru.  Alyssa and Roxxxy were deservedly in the bottom two, but between lip synching adequately on the LSFYL, and crying over what had happened when a contestant was 3 years old, Ru kept them both in.  

So, there are still 7 drag queens competing.

It's morning in L.A., and — Hey!  Wait. a. minute.   Did you believe Roxxxy's apology to Jinkx?  Did you believe that Roxxxy NEVER cried about being abandoned at the age of 3 at the bus stop.  She went on and on about remembering all the details, but, yet, it never caused a break down until now.  And, worse, because she had a rough moment in life, she has the right to mistreat Jinkx.  Because it's always appropriate for the wounded to hurt others that don't appear as wounded.  Yes.  Continue the pain that was put on you, by putting it on someone else.  That's good and right.  Pay it forward, as it were.  You can't fool ME Roxxxy.  

It's morning in L.A., and Ru brings in a larger Pit Crew, 22 men!  The extras are courtesy of designer Andrew Christian.  Okay, sure.

The mini challenge is really just Concentration, minus the rebus, but with a much better looking board.  The drag racers are to match up the underwear of the men (two blue, two white, etc) and, ah!, they're designed by Andrew Christian.

Easy, no?

The fastest wins a call home.  We can't tell from the edits who solved the task the quickest, but Ivy Winters wins the mini-challenge and the call home.  While she is calling in another room, Jinkx admits to the rest of the queens that she is crushing on Ivy.  Ah, bien sur!

The main challenge is to create perfume and market it.  They are given various oils or scents with which to make their olfactory sensation, containers to house it, and are told they will be writing and staring in a commercial for it.  Hmmm … should they go serious or funny?  Oh, please, this is drag, one should always be funny, eh?

Learn a lesson from Jiggly & PhiPhi, if nothing else.

On the Ru-thru Alaska's scent's name, "Red" is found to be something already in use.  Roxxxy's scent is a combination of foods.  Ru calls it "Ihop" - ha!  Coco's scent is "Ru Animale" and Ru is concerned that it will refer to HER, not to Coco.   Alyssa doesn't know what to say when Ru asks, "What IS Alyssa's Secret?"  Ivy Winters' "Poisoned Rosebud" is accused of being aimed at the wrong market, old and sophisticate when she is young, energetic and fun.  Ah, so the scent, marketing, etc. is supposed to match the contestant.  Alright, that makes sense. 

Aubrey O'Day (Danity Kane) and Jon Van Ark (Knot's Landing) guest judge.  Aubrey and Michelle Visage oversee the filming of the commercials.  They pretty much find fault with everything.  I know it's just the way they edit, but each seems to have a chance to place anywhere.  I find the Alaska and the Jinkx commercials funny, just like I them funny.  Yeah, let's throw Detox in there, too.   I'm trying to figure out who will be in the bottom with Alyssa, who doesn't seem that put together, but, geez, they ALL seem like that on SOME level.

Let's see how the runway went:

Coco Montrese
for "Ru Animale"

Alaska Thunderfuck
for "Red For Filth"

Ivy Winters
for "Dress Code"

Detox Icunt
for "Heroine"

Alyssa Edwards
for "Alyssa's Secret"

Jinkx Monsoon
for "Delusion"

Roxxxy Andrews
for "Thick & Juicy"

The judges don't like Coco's commercial (too busy, lion mask man is too funny for a serious commercial) but they like her runway outfit.   The judges crack up during Alaska's commercial.  They don't comment on her simple, not spectacular runway outfit.  Huh?  Ivy Winters is torn apart for not having any ideas, just having uncomfortable moments.  Detox cracks up the judges completely.  Santino doesn't like the runway look too much.  Alyssa's commercial bombs from her animated eye antics, and Santino's inability to invest in paying attention.   Jinkx is petrified (she is chanting "Water Off A Duck's Back") but, the judges are laughing at her commercial.  Joan says the concept is the best of them all.  Michelle LOVES her look.  So much for being one of the worst dressed a few weeks ago.  Roxxxy is accused for not having much of a concept.  She tries to apologize for it SEEMING like it wasn't much of a concept, but Michelle corrects her, saying it is UNPROFESSIONAL.  Good on you, Michelle.

Alaska wins the challenge!  Now every person here has won a challenge, all 7 of them.  Jinkx and Detox are safe.   Ivy is in the bottom two?  What!?!?  Coco is safe.  Alyssa and Roxxxy are criticized, but Roxxxy is safe, so Alyssa and Ivy are in the LSFYL.  I think it should be Roxxxy & Alyssa, not Ivy & Alyssa.  Is it because Roxxxy's had a smidgeon more of an idea to it?

Suddenly it's the summer of 1986 and we are in the clubs.  Quick, where are my zipper pants?  Ah, memories.  Gwen Guthrie's "Ain't Nothin' Goin' On But The Rent" is the song to lip synch to.   Each of them seems to do just okay, so that puts it back on their work in the main challenge, right?  Ru keeps Alyssa and lets go of Ivy.  Are you SERIOUS?  I must have rose colored glasses on.  I thought Ivy was more talented than either Alyssa or Roxxxy, but I suspect that they think she was just underwhelming, in a s4 The Princess kind of way, flawless but not memorable.

During Untucked we hear Coco complain about how the judging is going.  She is complaining to her peers, like it is THEIR fault that the judges are voting in a manner not pleasing to Coco.  Oy.  Enough.

Alright folks, I know who I want in the top 3, do you?  Not who I think will be there, but who I want to be there.  I'm hoping it will be Alaska, Detox and Jinkx.  I want Alyssa and Roxxxy to go next, and Coco to place 4th.  Of course, I just want the judging to be accurate, as to however the contestants actually end up doing.  We'll see.  As long as Shangela and PhiPhi don't come in and hijack the season, I'm alright with what happens.  Probably.  Possibly.  Oh, this is hard!

Yes, very hard.


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