Thursday, September 6, 2012

Face Off s3e3 Year Of The Dragon • 4 September 2012

Last week on Face Off the inspiration was pirates.  Sarah edged out Laura and Roy to nab the booty, not just a win, but $5,000 (in cash?  They always showed this chest of fake gold coins.  Or was there chocolate inside?) Eric and Jason earned their way to the bottom, but CC rightfully was eliminated.

You Will Be MIssed, CC.

It's morning at the contestants' house.  Laura and Sarah are missing CC (see, I don't lie) and using her vacated bed to remind them that this is a competition, and every challenge could be their last.

Not a picture of Jesus, or money, or nature's splendor,
not a photo of an alien, or a human-animal hybrid ...
it's an empty bed of CC that inspires you to be all you can be?

I'd be wondering why they used factory skids as headboards,
instead of staring at an empty bed, but — hey, that's just me.


Let's take a momentary break to talk about prejudice.

"You're too paaaale as haaaaale to be complaining about prejudice, Mr. Rubino!"

No, thank you, Miss Anthony, that's not exactly what I mean.  Humor me for a moment, s'il vous plait.

Prejudice hurts

No, that's not what I mean.  Follow me, won't you?  (I have neither candy nor a puppy, so relax.)

All _______ are the same.  

Let's ponder that for a moment, shall we?

It doesn't work for ethnicity  It doesn't work for financial means. It doesn't work for geographic location.  It doesn't work for much of anything, right?  Yes, up until this episode that is.

I'm new to Face Off, and, frankly, I am upset that I *just* discovered that Face Off is like all the other "skill-based" reality shows I've been watching.  That's right.  All ''skill-based'' reality shows are the same.  They edited the show to tell me right up front who is gong to win and who is going to get kicked off.  I *hate* that.  Probably more than the Republicans hate Obama, or the Democrats hate Bush and Romney combined.

While watching the show Tuesday evening, I thought to myself, "Wow!  Eric is getting the Loser Edit BIG time, and Derek is getting a lot of face time.  So, Derek wins and Eric goes home?"

Your bonding time will be over soon, mis hermanos.
Remember, you'll always have Chinese Dragons.

You see, over on Project Runway, the Winner/Loser Edit first started out as TMI about the person (while seeing nothing of the sort from anyone else) and then progressed over the years to just an inordinate amount of screen time.

Let's distinguish the Winner/Loser Edit from the Entertainment Edit, or, which I call the "Clown" Edit, since that is usually the form of entertainment said person might supply.  Think Anthony on PRs7.  

"Hey!  I resemble that remark! ...
and why can't I show up in the PR blog, huh?"

This would normally rear its head in the middle of the episode, not the very beginning.  In other words, you can tell you will win and who will go home by the 1st few minutes of the show.  I *loathe* this.  Why can't we just watch what happens, and see for ourselves?  Why do we need this barely subliminal spoon-feeding of the results?   It's like telling me during the first five minutes of the movie that Janet Leigh dies, or Jaye Davidson is a pre-op transgender.  It ruins it for me.

"My brain is bleeding just thinking about your pain!
We're going to start a foundation for you right now.
Remember, it gets better!"

Alright, it's just a TV show.  It shouldn't inspire one to join an angry mob with torches.

"It doesn't?  Are you even human?"

"It's just an end to your innocence.
Learn, grow & move on, mister!"


Okay, Eric gets a lot of screen time, and elaborates on the ramifications of being in the bottom

Eric needed subtitles to drive home the fact that he is a goner?

Alright, maybe he needs to do more than *just* think.

"Wait, did you say Ramification?"

The remaining 10 contestants walk over to the Thien HauTemple in the Chinatown section of Los Angeles, CA.   Look, it's host McKenzie Westmore extrapolating on the wonders of puppets!   What are the odds?

Soon out comes in MW's words, "the amazing Chinese dragon & lion dancers."  Or, just one, pale as hell. 

Jason interviews the incredulity of puppets being part of the upcoming Spotlight Challenge.  (What, no Foundation Challenge two weeks in a row?  Someone in production call in sick or something?)

"Puppets are SO lame."

You do need to take that back, Jason.

We can be rougher on you than a Loser Edit!

This is the blog that never ends ...

MW 'randomly' assigns teams, and states that the individual's Chinese Zodiac signs will be incorporated into their dancer's look.  There will be dancing at judging time, but they all move so quickly that nothing can be determined as to whether something held up or not.

Oh, guess who gets the Clown Edit!

That's right!  Maybe if I offer comic relief, or at least some plot,
then they won't give ME the Loser Edit, amirite?

Believe it or not, the hair color had nothing to do with getting the Clown Edit.  No, let's not tease Alana, because it's serious.  She had to get seven stitches.  Laura takes the absence from the work with a major grain of salt.  (Good attitude there, Laura!)

Stitches are no laughing matter.
Neither are scallops.

Roy shares on how to design.  I think he means conceptualize.  This reminds me of Kimberly and Viktor each getting no camera time during a couple of PRs9 episodes, except for explaining how to do some sort of construction skill.  Over in PR-land, we call this a "PSA Edit" — an otherwise ignored contestant explaining something obvious, like the US Today's newsworthy factoid: "The brain is in the head."

Because this is news to us.

So, is this Roy's PSA Edit?   The PSA Edit (in my humble opinion) came about after some contestants had made it through, week after week, in the safe middle, only to be eliminated near the end, with a sudden burst & flurry of Loser Edit screen time.

At any rate, Roy gets the PSA Edit.  This means he is safely in the middle.   Try to remember what he looks like.   We won't be seeing him ever again.  He's not being eliminated, he's just so safe & in the middle that he will become invisible.

Here's how it all shakes out:

Rod & Nicole:  Snake & Rat
Rod & Nicole
The judges declare this a success.  They think it honors the challenge the most (looks to be inspired by the Chinese Dragon dancing.)
• • •

Eric & Sarah:   Monkey & Boar
Eric & Sarah
The judges are not impressed, especially when they come close to inspect their work.  Ve Neil hates the last-minute-by-Eric horns.

• • •

Alana & Laura: Goat & Rat
Alana & Laura 
The judges declare this safe.  Getting the Clown Edit managed to hide their cowl rip pretty well.  Actually, the judges think it is great work, but it doesn't speak "Chinese Dragon" enough.

• • •

Derek & Tommy:  Monkey & Ox
Derek & Tommy
The judges rave over this, but you knew that already, yes?  Glenn Hetrick states it's the strongest collaboration ever on the show.

• • •

Jason & Roy: Rabbit & Snake
Jason & Roy
The judges don't like the red & black paint — especially the black spots on the face.   They do love the chest work.  They don't like that it doesn't look like it could be a dragon.

• • •

So, another Florida native is axed.   Derek Garcia wins, and Eric Garcia is sent packing.  Okay, Derek and Laura, it's up to you now.   Reading bios on the contestants before the season started, I was convinced that the Garcia brothers would go far, due to their experience at Universal's Halloween Horror Nights.  Maybe it's just not that simple.  Maybe I should have thought a little deeper, eh, Eric?


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