Saturday, August 25, 2012

Face Off s3e1 • A Force To Be Reckoned With • 21 August 2012

Last time, on Face Off s2e10 —

(Gianni Rubino:  Wasn't it only five months ago?)

McKenzie Westmore:   Alright, judges, have you chosen a winner?

Patrick Tatopoulos:   I believe so.

(GR:  When will you know for sure?  Are they not paying you enough to be bold, to be opinionated?  Oh, wait, I bet the answer is coming up very soon.)

McKenzie:  Glenn?  Who is the winner of Face Off?



Glenn Hetrick:  . . .  (wakes up)  The Winner (dozes off) … (wakes up) of Face Off  (dozes off)   …   (in his sleep) is   . . .    


Smooth, Delicious Hershey's Milk Chocolate with 30 percent less fat!



Nature Valley Protein Bars!



The Capitol One Cash Rewards Card!



The Revolutionary Samsung Galaxy S3!



Sonny's BBQ Baskets!



Bright House!   They will even get Precious Jones (not 2009's Precious Jones,) who is a cat (not portrayed by Gabourey Sidibe,) down from a tree, because they are your friend.  All other cable companies offer great service, or a reasonable price.  Bright House offers their friendship, presumably because they cannot offer said service or price.   They can lighten your wallet, should its great weight be troubling you.  I bet I could be your friend for less money.



Hot Set!  It's a spin off from Face Off!  It's coming in September!  



Oh, wait, Glenn says the winner is straight & taken boy Rayce.    I was rooting for him until he gave the judges the Love Boat Isaac index finger pointing.   Ugh.   Listen, er, read, it's alright when Futurama references LBI, but no one in real life should, 'kay?   It's over, and it's not retro.  Let it go.  It was almost 40 years ago, and the demographic for Face Off is 18-49.  Reference today, or the good old Noughts.  The 1900's are so last century.

Okay, that was a little harsh.  Let me go grab my muzzle.  In the meantime, we can fast forward five frantic months to the air time of Tuesday, August 21, 2012!   Bring your Hershey's Chocolate, they might not have that in the future.

~ ~ ~

McKenzie Westmore proclaims that 12 talented make up artists are here to compete!

Tommy just quit his full-time chef job in Columbus, Ohio.   Does he realize that this isn't Top Chef?  Or does it even matter anymore?

Alana is sleeping her way to the top.   She used to be Ian's girlfriend, until he only came in second on last year's Face Off.    Alana, don't bother trying to sleep with Patrick Tatopoulos.  I suspect he isn't sticking around.


The rest of the contestants meet up with Tommy and Alana at a Sean Austin roof top pool party (Sean, where's your mankini?) for the Foundation Challenge.    But, first, let me share (thats GR for complain.)

It is at said pool party where we meet fan favorite Joe, who writes, produces, directs and has done the special effects for 16 micro-budget motion pictures.  (Does that mean home movies?)

Don't even go there.

Is this why he chooses to make his first project out of napkins?   Vraiment?  Does Bounty need a sci-fi, sorry, syfy mascot now?  To be fair, the idea sounds interesting, but the pay off is nonexistent.  Meanwhile, most of the others produce amazing, er, passable work.  Mikey Walsh states he doesn't 'love' Joe's work.   Ah, Sam Gam was being KIND.

Oh, and we meet Nicole, who can only escape her fibromyalgia pain when she is doing make up.   Look, I know that it's not always an accepted diagnosis, but … ?   Well, if we can have dancing for mental health,  I guess we can have make up for pain management.

Isn't pot for that?

Why are all of the ladies sporting Rihanna red heads?

They're all copying me.  I invented red.

Brothers Derek & Eric Garcia are told they have the top two looks, and Eric wins the challenge, and immunity in the elimination challenge.

The contestants then move into their new digs, and meet up with McKenzie Westmore in the morning for their main challenge.   Their first Spotlight Challenge is based on the most influential film franchise in history!

This?

Working in randomly selected pairs, they must create an original alien character inspired by the 1977 Star Wars Cantina scene.

Hi, Meco!  
Just because your disco version of Star Wars/Cantina Band hit #1,
it doesn't mean you get to dress like Han Solo, or Annie Hall. 

Hardware Wars, too?

George Lucas will guest judge!
Like HELL I will!
I'm changing the plot to THX1138, and the look as well — 
it'll be all black.   It'll show up better on the screen.

Well, it won't show up better on the runway, that's for sure.
Don't you have a blog to write, Gianni?

Matthew Ward will guest judge!
''Not till I've had my hair cut.''

Matthew Wood will guest judge!

 That's more like it!


The winner's character will be featured on the Star Wars website in its original form and also incorporated into The Clone Wars animated series.

Wait a minute, how is it that some contestants haven't seen Star Wars?

How does that happen?

Some of us were in a cult, thank you. 
(I'm amazing & happy, though.) 

What confuses me is that Joe was able to mistreat his teammate, Tommy, for 2.5 (3) days.  From interrupting him, to remolding his clay, to verbally harassing him, it seemed like Joe was never missing an opportunity to fail Tommy.  How will this play out?

Glenn Hetrick, Ve Neill, Patrick Tatopoulos and his substitute Neville Page judge as follows:

Rod & Roy are in the top with a little person inside a 1986 Aliens' body fitting forklift.  It's amazing, but it's not necessarily from a George Lucas world.  Roy's exoskeleton and Rod's little guy are well thought out and created.

Laura & Sarah are also in the top with a more believable Star Wars missing character,  a femme fatale bounty hunter.  She's an amphibious creature, with an apparatus to cope on the dry planet of

Eric & Jason design a male bounty hunter.  It's not stellar, but it meets the challenge and is worthy of being on the show.

Alana & Nicole (Team Red & Magenta) are in crisis mode throughout the entire show, but end up placing in the middle.

C.C. & Derek are in the bottom with their red jazz saxophone player.   While it belongs in the bottom, it's obvious that they are both going to be safe.

Joe and Tommy are also in the bottom with their female bodyguard,   They didn't finish the look (see the feet,) but what they did finish wasn't worthy of the show.  At all.

So, who will throw whom under the proverbial competitive reality show bus?  First the winner:

Rod wins!   Yea!  While the judges are deliberating upon who should be sent packing, Joe does them a favor,  he quits!   The judges decide that he will be disqualified and that no one else will need to be eliminated.  Geez,  Andrea & Kooan, you've started a nasty trend there.

We are not amused.
Or relevant.

We will all miss PT as he goes off to Bulgaria to work on another 300 film.    Joe, not so much.

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