Tuesday, July 17, 2012

I want my Mommy!

My maternal grandmother became gravely ill shortly after I wrapped up my Freshman year of college.   She moved into my mother's home and I did, too.   For the next 14+ months we took care of my grandmother till she passed to the other side.  The two of us assisting her during her last year of life is one of my most cherished memories.  Yes, I had to drop out of school.  Yes, it was hard on my grandmother, being mentally fully competent, yet in so much physical stress.  Yes, my mother did most of the heavy lifting.  Still, we all loved each other, and it was sheer joy to try to bless each other day in and day out.  My grandmother succumbed over Labor Day weekend the following year.  The void left in her absence is still great.

Afterwards, my mother would every so often lament, "I want my mommy."   I'd remind her that she was truly special, and, well, of course she would want her back.    It's hard losing anyone special, but, since my mother and I are each 'only' children, and because her father had passed away when she was four, I think the death of her mother, my grandmother, seemed more severe. 

My mother passed away around 3 a.m., Tuesday, July 10, 2012.  I like to believe that the moment she passed she jumped into my grandmother's arms, telling her how much she loved and missed her.  Yes, I miss my mother terribly.  Yes, my mother had suffered for decades with much pain.  Yes, she was ready to meet her Maker.   Still, even though I told her several times daily, I'd give anything to tell her one more time that I loved her.  I miss her so much.

And now I'm in this alone, this meaning life.

So, wherever you are, I love you, Mom.

And now I'm in this alone, this meaning blogging on the TV show Project Runway.  One thing my mother & I shared was a fondness for watching PR and talking about how the contestants would approach each challenge.  We definitely saw the show as a metaphor for life.   Along with the nation, we were both on Team Mondo.

So, I may be crying like Keith Bryce upon his elimination (PRs5e7) but … I'm still here.  I may not have anyone cheering me on, but I do believe it's time for me to swing.   Well, almost.  I have a couple of days to practice before I'm up to bat, eh?

I've been a fan of PR since 2006.  I have seen all the international versions I could get my hands on, plus the knock off shows.  Seeing the creativity, and watching how the designers approach each challenge fascinates me.  This blog is my attempt to find others to chat with about Project Runway.  If and when season four of PR Australia becomes available, I will blog on that as well.  I am lucky and grateful to be here, and ...

(I love you, Mom)

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